Hypocrite?

There’s one more argument consistently raised by Brian that I would like to address. Obviously, you can infer from the title that it is that of my alleged hypocrisy.

Brian’s counting apparently and says that since we met, I’ve slept with four people. So we’re even, right? He’s done nothing wrong in doing the exact same thing.

First of all, I slept with two. One was a client who was so pushy that I gave in just get him out of there, and he even acknowledged his mistake in subsequent sessions, apologizing profusely and promising to keep his hands to himself. Afterward, I cried because I feared the impact on my relationship but had been left with little other choice. To continue to resist could have meant losing the money l desperately needed at the time, or worse.

The second time, Brian and I were broken up. Specifically, because of the dating profiles and suspicions about him cheating on me. This was not a person I was attracted to, once again it was not an organic occurrence. I had certainly not been planning it and sneaking around behind his back. Someone offered me a hefty sum, I was single and in dire financial need and I said yes. It was cut and dry and he honestly didn’t even finish. Too awkward. Sounds super hot, right?

Any other person he thinks I fucked, I did not fuck. Well, I suppose you could count the one time I successfully had sex with an ex boyfriend while he was in jail for strangling me until my throat bruised and intercepting my emergency call, but I understandably leave that one out. And oh, I guess he gets the other one from the client I slept with, again while he was in jail and I anticipated never seeing him again. Why the fuck I did is beyond me. And please remember that I was a full service sex worker when Brian and I met.

I kissed someone named Max in front of him, but again after we had broken up, and again due to his own infidelities. With the way Brian treated me, I was under no obligation to be considerate of him and in fact, he was not supposed to be there. I had kicked him out that morning and decided to let him stay after hours of begging and because it was cold outside.

I never cheated on Brian in the traditional sense. I never desired anybody else. I never lied and snuck around, I never fucked anyone while we together, and when we weren’t together it was because he treated me like garbage and cheated chronically.

More conservative types often cite my current profession as cause for his cheating, and more creative types might compare his earnings to mine, stating that he was merely working too. To all that I say: Bullshit. Brian not only knew what I did for a living from the get go, but again, he met me when I was still a full service escort and professed to understand it even then. Now I almost never go all the way and primarily use my hands. I was open and upfront, he knew what I did down to the minutiae, he snuck around behind my back, actually screwed other women, and posted it on fucking Reddit and God knows where else. Often for free. I was not given the opportunity to consent at all, and I was lied to until the very end.

What Brian did and what I did are not even comparable things. I was in one case coerced, in another paid and single, and in all others chaste. Sorry. No. I am not a hypocrite and he is not absolved.

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